Slice Of Night

   It’s been three weeks since I transitioned to working 100% remote. My work focuses on pulling seniors out of isolation and keeping them connected. Now, I find myself needing to apply these lessons to my own life, which has been a surprise because I thought I had this hermit thing figured out.

See, I’ve worked at a library and a museum, handling programming, festivals, events, art shows—you name it. I thought I’d had enough event days to last several lifetimes. But I didn’t realize there’s a big difference between working events and actually enjoying them.

After three weeks of rarely going out, I came to a sobering realization: I need people. None of my friends were surprised by this revelation. My dream of becoming an 18th-century garden hermit was officially over.

Since my last post, life has delivered some growing pains. I lost my first BJJ match and had my ego dismantled in class.

Nothing particularly bad happened in either case—eating shit and sucking is the first step to success—and ive been putting in the hours.My latest battle is that we’re transitioning back to gi, and as a fat femme, I have only two gis: one custom Killer Bee gi that’s too big now (it’s been tailored three times), and another that’s a bit too small.

As a neurodivergent baddie, things like light, sound, and improper fit can cause sensory issues. I find it hard to focus on the task at hand and end up working twice as hard to keep up, even with simple things like the move of the day. After a streak of setbacks, I realized my ego could only take so much punishment.I needed a win.Luckily, Sagittarius season is here, and the fires are calling to be stoked.

On the creative side, I’ve been yearning for more in regards to my LucidStreamdream project—a Twitch space where I stream video games, watch bad movies, and create. I’ve been carving this space out with friends for the past eight months, and it’s been working. The Instagram looks great, and we’ve been posting regularly to promote programming segments.

But it’s time to transform some long-term dreams into actionable goals. Things have lingered in dreamland a bit too long. Short-term goals include shooting a promo trailer for Twitch, while long-term projects like Space Case, my passion film, have been calling to me.

Small steps are happening. I’ve outlined my ideas, scouted locations, and scheduled every thursday to dedicate to the creative pursuit of my projects.An open invitation was given out to a handful of artist & out of the 4 only one showed: Shout out to you Ivan

One solid creative is worth their weight in oil paint, Originally we were going to meet up at my house , but I realized I needed to get out. I'm glad I made that call because we ended up at all the best places...its like he's from here or something.

He forged the path for the night, I got to play.

Our first stop was Kreative Grounds Coffee. Ivan introduced me to the owner, and we talked shop about lighting art shows and posturing about the gallery cycles and storage as performance art. The current exhibit featured artwork from The Sidewalk School—crayon illustrations by children awaiting asylum in Mexico/U.S. border towns. Their work captured the border divide and their hopes to transcend the limbo they’re stuck in.

The art hits hard. Having volunteered with The Sidewalk School, I hope this show encourages locals to volunteer at least once with this group,

As I stepped outside to catch my breath and tend to my heart, I saw a little girl drawing Pokémon collage with headphones on, sipping her drink, and minding her business. That’s what I wish for all these kids: brief struggles, bountiful comforts

Next, we stopped at Valley Medicinal, where I showed off murals I’d created with Mariana Prado and Carlos Ochoa: kava roots, mushrooms, snails, stars, and my favorite—a UFO weed field abduction painted by Carlos.

I hadn’t been there in a while and met a new budtender who loved industrial music. We talked shop about the best sound systems in the RGV. Turns out, the DJ at a Halloween Goth Rave I’d attended was Ivan! Magical, yet not surprising—nasty bass and magic always find me.

Our final destination was Santo Pecado, a new café-bar with juicy-gloss green tiles, golden palms, and buzzing neon signs. It was the 5th anniversary of Let’s Stay Creative, a local meetup for photographers and models.

When the group needed someone to direct a celebratory group photo, I took charge.

Once I got the creatives facing the right direction, I started snapping photos, my loud Puerto Rican theater voice booming commands. I saw an opportunity to help wield my favorite weapon, and greatest gift , my voice.

"Alright everyone we need to turn around the lighting is all wrong, Find your light!"

& once I got a whole clan of creatives to face the same way, I started shooting 

ONE! TWO! THREE! CLICK! ONE! TWO! THREE! SNAP! ONE! TWO ! THREE! CLICK!

Before handing the crowds attention to another photographer , I made sure to take a beat and say “My name is Laura, I'm a director & I promise I will make sure you look amazing, just like I am RIGHT NOW! I then flipped the camera round and took a selfie. 

 

Let's Stay Creative

As the night unfolded, I connected with incredible talents, the stars were local & within reach. In the corner of my eye I saw Miss Synn climb a Wine Fridge filled with thousands of dollars worth of wine. Flashes popping off as they should,capturing her every move. I was surrounded by Muses and Artist and I held still. Standing in the middle and scouting everyone in front and behind the cameras. I was in flow state, thriving in the chaos of all the creative energy. The things that ran through my mind where :What stood out to me? Where was the production value? Where can I put a scene together?

There were two standouts that struck a theatrical chord with me. @sincerelyyysarah had crafted an outfit that paid homage to the Holiday classic A Christmas story and its infamous leg lamp. Then there was @stillsbyhino/ Carlo holding down the corporate office siren with a beautifully tailored vintage suit with pops of simple but weighted accessories, sunglasses, a swerved tie and a Old fashioned in a short glass, garnished with an orange peel to balance out the outfits more flamboyant flourishes with a traditionally masculine drink choice.

My mind was racing. This wasn’t just about capturing beautiful shots. It was about creating something electric, making a SCENE, and embracing the ebb and flow of the creative process. I got to work & went on to commune, produce....I transformed from intimacy coordinator to Director to photographer. Together, we created a scene that felt straight out of a late ‘70s holiday party. The energy was magnetic—other photographers started snapping as well. That's how I knew I hit it out of the park, when other photographers line up behind me for a chance to take a photo of the energy I orchestrated. Affirmed with click 

As the night wound down, I reflected on a powerful moment: someone had asked if I was a model. While I usually prefer being behind the camera, stepping in front helps me connect with my craft and understand the challenges my subjects face. Embracing myself as a muse brings balance to my heart and mind—a celebration of self-love that rejects Eurocentric beauty standards. Whether it’s my figure, height, gray hairs, or profile, I’m intentional about taking up space, both digitally and physically.

I know there are queer kids out there, and I hope when they see me, they find inspiration and a safe place. Queer kids belong in front of the camera, too.

Before leaving, I asked Korrea Photography—a talented brother duo—to capture me embracing my reflection in the bathroom. Watching them work was inspiring: quick lighting adjustments, aperture tweaks, and lens swaps brought everything together quickly. Its like they were brother or something ;)

As the night’s light faded, I reflected that failing forward means showing up for yourself and staying consistent, even when plans or other people falter. Creative spaces have a rhythm, and while not every idea works out, the journey often matters more than the final product

P.S Thank you Ivan for taking me exactly where I needed to go.